The Next Day

12:00 AM

It was only the next day, when it could no longer be undone, that it dawned on me

only then, i realized all that i had given up for what i thought i wanted

only then, i remembered all the things i never did and all those i will never do again

7:00 AM

The curtains I hastily closed yesterday, remained so, never opened again

Perhaps if i had waited just a moment longer, the sun might have once more lit my room

with brilliant streaks of crimson and gold,

maybe then i might have changed my mind.

But i did not wait.

9:00 AM

They found me.

Only then the guilt, not regret, set in,

you must remember pain never dissipates entirely

the pain that i was released from

was simply passed on to those closest to me

gripped by grief, they will suffer through many nights

their wounds will heal, but into a permanent scar

11:00 AM

My friend came to visit.

She read the unfinished letter on my desk and cried silently. Grief stricken.

Blamed herself for not noticing the signs. Foolishly.

But she couldn’t have known

Not amidst the smiles and laughter and tears of joy.

If she knew it was the last time, she’d have hugged me a little tighter.

She blamed herself, like they all did.

But the pain of “i should have known” looked different on everyone.

1:00 PM

My cat waits next to an empty bowl.

One that’ll never be filled by my hands ever again.

But He didn’t understand. How could he?

Now regret settles in.

My bundle of joy left alone to starve to death.

My warm-blooded lifeline, but not this time.

Drowning out everyone, I drifted too far into the numbing sea of voices.

Reality and hallucinations were inextricable.

I had drifted beyond return

7:00 pm

My unwatered plant, like me, slowly starting to wither away.

I care not much for the plant. I wasn’t much of a gardener.

It would have died at my hands anyways.

It’s just that now I won’t get to fail at trying.

I won’t get to try at all.

11:59 PM

They returned me to the dust where it all began.

The damp earth still smelling of fresh rain or perhaps bitter tears.

They crowned me with ivory flowers.

Adorned me in fine silk.

Then closed the box that held me confined me.

Lastly, they said,

“Good bye.”

Afterwards, they lowered me into the darkness

clutching onto their memories of me.

I never saw them again. I hope they still remember me.

I miss them sometimes.

– Janya signing out

Merry Christmas !!

I wish for your holiday heart to be filled to the brim

With merry days of love, warmth, and bountiful joy

For the long corridors and twisting chambers of your life

To be decked with wreaths decorated in lustrous red ribbons 

And unforgettable memories bordered in shining silver and glittering tinsel

I wish for you to be enveloped by angels you adore 

standing strong by your side through night and day

like evergreen trees radiating comfort and hope

Adorned in sparking fairy lights with gifts waiting to be beholden

For hope to always be seen in your eyes

Like the north star shining high up in the sky

I wish for all your days to filled with delicate desserts

Fruitcake, egg nog, homemade cookies, and everything nice

And of course, you can’t forget, piping hot chocolate 

Topped with a bunch of mini marshmallows 

And a crushed candy cane rim for a little something special

I wish for you to have your both your heart and your hunger filled

By delicious dishes and savory stories shared ‘round table

Flavors and fables amongst family and friendly fellows 

Echoing laughter reflecting the lovely glow of home

I hope each year is sweeter a treat

Like the candy canes hanging on our tree

And towering gingerbread houses we’ll build

Iced in vanilla white and sprinkled in classic red and green

We’ll decorate star shaped cookies and eat half the icing

We’ll stand out in the starry snow 

And catch snowflakes with our tongues

And if it’s too cold, we’ll stay cozy indoors 

We’ll set up the fireplace and close all the windows

We’ll trade ugly sweaters and catch up with our favorite shows

But if we do go out, to take in the glow

Let’s build a snowman that looks like someone we know

Let’s skate on ice and waltz in the snow

Leave behind snow angels wherever we go

– Janya signing out

Soft Sketches

Oc sketches & ref sketches for anatomy practice

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– Janya signing off

Her

Iridescent eyes, coffee brown

With hints of honey & hazelnut

Velvet skin, warm chocolate

Strawberry freckles 

Smooth, silky vanilla curls 

Upturned smile, unfolding flower

elegant poise, hard toffee core

Luscious licorice lips, stained cherry red

Scented snickerdoodle 

Sugary apple pie and gingerbread

spicy notes of cinnamon

Sharp bite, taste of cranberry blood

Lace button sleeves, pale meringue

Adorned in fine pieces of spun gold 

Pretty polished heels, red like mine

– Janya

Limerence

Gorging on globed fruit divine

Perfectly ripened citrus 

Mandarins, Tangerines, or Clementines?

Tricks you pull, laughing at the same time

Color me red, make me blush

Scarlet, crimson, or rouge?

How can it be that so soon 

you, my shiny treasure, was stolen

By a raven, crow, or rook?

– Janya

Vampire

I reckon last time was the nail in the coffin 

But won’t you revive me once more

with your electric touch?

Your indifference kills me infinitely, 

and yet I keep rising from the dead

Crawling out of my grave for you

Eternal vampiric love

You’ll have to shoot me with silver bullets

Or stab a wooden stake straight through my heart 

How foolish I must be, forgetting who I really am

I’ll walk by your side in the scorching sun 

and bury myself in you 

I’ll catch your salty tears 

even as they burn through my hands

– Janya

God sent me an angel

My best friend,

I swear she’s an angel  sent from above

Maybe the only reason I’m not in a psychward.

She’s the only one who understands me

She’s gets me laughing like nobody else can 

She’s got a special place in my heart

I love her so

And I hope she knows 

I wish she gets everything she asks for

Cause I know she deserves it

We always have enough

Cause we fill each other’s hearts up

I love to listen to her talk, she’s so cool

I love it when she tells me things I don’t know

With her I never feel too much or too less

No doubt I’d fight for her 

Yea I’d die for her, but I’d live for her too 

God sent me an angel

And for that I’m ever so glad

– Janya

Winter

Merry days filled with love, warmth, and joy

Halls decked with silver and gold tinsel

Wreaths with bright red glittering ribbons

Gifts waiting under the tree, sparkling fairy lights

Fruit cake, egg nog, and everything nice

Hold my hands, they’re just like ice

Let’s make hot cocoa with tiny marshmallows

Bring home all your friendly fellows

We’ll build gingerbread houses 

and hang candy canes on the tree

Decorate cookies and eat half the icing

We could go out in the snow

Catch snowflakes with our tongues

And if it’s too cold, hold me close

We’ll trade ugly sweaters and stay cozy  indoors 

And watch reruns of our favorite shows

Set up the fireplace and close the windows

Let’s build a snowman that looks like someone we know

Let’s skate on ice and waltz in the snow

Leave behind snow angels wherever we go

– Janya

Death

She’s not heartless like they say

She’s kind and forgiving 

She’s pretty with her wintry gaze

She’s got dark eyes, pure obsidian coal

She held me in her cold arms,

Pushed aside a lock of my hair

And caressed my face 

with her soft icy hands

Buried in her stiff shoulders

I drifted into an eternal slumber

Felt peace for the first time

Death loves me like no other

So I never want to leave her side

And I want to make her mine

– Janya

Titanic

Once on the same page, on the same boat.

Then, hit an iceberg’s tip, no longer afloat

My heart sank with the rest of me,

But you swiftly sailed away 

On your ship, on your own, without me.

Rewrote the Titanic in one day.

Jack made it, Rose didn’t.

In this together, until we weren’t.

Tell me, are your hands stained

with blood or indigo ink?

– Janya

Little Red Fox

Cunning little red fox met slaughtered* white lamb

But the lamb wasn’t a lamb, 

It was drenched in another’s blood

Poor little red fox met a wolf in disguise

Poor little red fox, they pulled wool o’er your eyes

Bang. Bang. Bang. bang.

Shots ring out through the air

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.

They killed little red fox without reason 

But little red fox did nothing wrong

And didn’t deserve to die for no treason

_{*Note: the mentioned  lamb is alive but covered in so much blood to the degree that it appears to have been slaughtered}

– Janya

Two Truths and a Lie

I prayed and wished you were really you

Asked Him to take you away  if that wasn’t true 

Guess I should’ve known then

Somethings just aren’t meant to happen

Maybe you wouldn’t have so much trouble choosing,

If you didn’t fill your head with one too many choices

While I’m stuck in my own head reflecting

alone with too many voices

It’s hard to differentiate 

Between your two truths and a lie

Are you just gonna let it fall apart

When you knew everything  from the start 

Said you didn’t care, so what happened then?

I guess I care too much, when I probably shouldn’t

Loved too hard, when I said I wouldn’t 

So go ahead, let your fate run its course

I’ll pick up a pen and write out my remorse

This isn’t how I really feel

Truth is, I just can’t find a way to deal

– Janya

Starcrossed

When I reach the heavens,

I’ll make the sky prettier for you.

Let me be your favorite constellation,

Your lighthouse amidst the dark, depressing nights.

Shining brilliant green, seen even from afar.

Starcrossed, is that what we are?

– Janya

Bad Luck

Maybe I shouldn’t have crossed your path.

You said I’m lucky, I guess I’m not.

Maybe it’s because I held your hand under a ladder.

Or called out for you in the rain 13 times.

Or whistled inside the chambers of your heart.

Echoes are meaningless,

They only tell me what I want to hear.

I shattered your favorite mirror,

and tried to put it back together.

I’m sorry, I forgot that broken glass cuts deep.

– Janya

Desserts

Lava cake oozing hot chocolate from its center

topped with cold vanilla bean ice cream

covered by a hard chocolate dome 

Hot fudge ice cream sundae

With chewy brownies,chocolate shards,

And a bright red cherry on top

Served in a fancy glass

With a red and white striped straw

Banana split drizzled

With chocolate and caramel

One scoop of marvelous mango, 

one scoop of scrumptious strawberry,

and one scoop of chilled coconut

sprinkled with crispy toasted almonds and

broken pieces of criss-crossed waffle cone

Delectable melting moments dusted with sugar

crumble delicately in the mouth

– Janya

Too Much to Ask For

Everytime I meet your eyes

I wish there was something to hate

But I can’t hold a candle to you

I’m bright, but you’re brighter

Everytime I try to drown you out

You just keep rushing back in

You hold my head underwater

I can’t breathe

Quick with your words, quicker at running away

I can’t keep up with how fast you move ahead

I see you way over there

Already laughing without a care

Is it worse if you knew how it kills me

Is it worse if you don’t understand why

You being happy, makes me happy

I just wish I could have my own share

Awakening

Tell me, are you disillusioned?

Please don’t lie to me.

You gave me your word. 

I adore you.

I’d drown myself in your vast sea 

over and over again. 

Crash into me with your yellow vintage car

Shatter my backbone made of glass

Cast me aside, for I’m just insane

Jump off this bridge with me, darling 

I’ll break your fall, give my all

We’ll be okay, I promise

– Janya

Kittens

Fluffy little gremlins I can’t help but adore

With shiny marble eyes glowing in the dark

And perfect pink paws kneading invisible dough

I adore their chaotic madness, perched on tall shelves, 

knocking glasses off the counter, unprecedented attacks of love

I value their respect for space and boundaries

I’ll earn their trust with love and care and time

I’d give anything to wake up to soft purrs at 3 am

I’d trade all eight of my lives for a chance to spend one

with a tiny kitten by my side

– Janya

Thank God I didn’t eat those pomegranate seeds

Stole me away, left me smitten

Plucked me off the field

like a dandelion, blew me away.

Crossed the river with you 

And we almost drowned

Took me to where you called home

Blazing fires and hellhounds

Made me guest of honor

And threw me a feast I couldn’t eat

Everything felt like a facade, incomplete

A dream inside a dream

But Persephone led me away

from the mistakes she made

With someone like you

Didn’t know what she was saving me from then

I love you–

But thank God I didn’t eat those pomegranate seeds

– Janya

Eurydice’s pleadings

If the past must be left in the past

There’s just one small step left 

Go on, Orpheous, you can still save us both

Leave, but don’t look back

Or I’ll fall back into the depths of hell once more

Second chances don’t come

And when they do

not without a cost or a ruse

– Janya

Coraline

Somewhere along the way I tripped 

and fell through a hidden door

Crawled through a tunnel to the other side, 

but the grass isn’t greener here

The other lover, the second string?

Sew on my button eyes 

and call me Coraline 

– Janya

Soulmate

Hold me close to your heart and I’ll keep you warm,

But not too close or we’ll both burn up

For fire brings both comfort and destruction.

Still here

Ever far, but ever near

Inextricably tangled in your red string, 

Cut me loose before you go

– Janya

Revelation

I am but half a heart without you, or so I thought

But I’m more whole than I’ve ever been, a new revelation. 

So many angels around me that I adore, 

I cherish the universe and all it’s got in store,

And I treasure it more and more

I love you to the core

But, please don’t wash back up my shore

– Janya

Dear Romeo

Holding out with hope,

For it doesn’t have to be

between Montague or Capulet,

Just between us you see

I drank the vial for a second chance,

A chance to see you again

I waited for you, my word held true

But you never came, so I must start anew

– Janya

Nothing Lasts Forever

Janya signing out

The Frog and I

To become a princess I kissed my pet frog,

But now my friends think my brain’s a hollow log,

Filled only with empty smog.  

My frog hopped away.

No doubt that it no longer wanted to stay.

Why does everyone eventually go away?

But no- what’s that? Do I hear a ribbit, ribbit, ribbit?

Well I’ll be darned! My frog has leapt back.

It’s webbed fingers grasp a crown, one fit for a princess. For me! I don’t believe it!

My friends are watching. What a comeback!

Thank for reading this poem, leave a comment if you liked it :>

Janya signing out~

My Mother’s Sweater

I borrowed you, my mother’s sweater.

Oh how you glitter like gold. 

You’re perfect, just perfect for December weather

when it becomes windy and cold.

You embrace me in your woolen arms,

woven delicately with the finest Cashmere.

God’s greatest creation isn’t mankind, it’s you.

You delight me with your charms. 

I want to pack you in my suitcase for a trip to Kashmir.

I, for you, without a doubt will disregard my curfew.

I only borrowed you, my mother’s sweater.

But I never want to leave your cozy, warm snug-fitting sleeves.

You were passionately woven, like words strung together in a love letter.

You make me reminiscent of pumpkin spice and autumn leaves. 

Oh beloved, precious sweater, I’ve decided to never return you…

Not even to my own mother.

I can tell you’d like to stay with me too from the glow of your pearly, white button eyes.

Your smile leaves behind creases and wrinkles for me to find like presents brand-new.

Don’t worry, I will never entrust you to another.

My ears fight to hear your soul-stirring, sweet voice amidst the wind’s cries.

Thank you for reading this poem 😀

Janya signing out~

Highs & Lows

Hi readers, I hope you enjoy this poem 🙂

We’ve been hitting our highs and lows

Heads underwater; past the depth that we could rise from

But now we’re back on cloud nine; higher than any other

Can’t hang on nor let go

We’re fixing it only to break it once more

Not ready to dive in nor chicken out

We’re not dead yet but we’re not alive either

We’re so deep in this shallow love

Each time we restart we hit undo

We can’t backspace anymore

Your highs are my lows

The end is inevitable

Why must we persist

Why can’t we

j u s t

l e t

g o

– Janya signing out

Works Cited

Kane, Clinton, et al. Fix It to Break It, Los Angeles, California, 27 Mar. 2020.

“Ode to my Mother”

Hi readers,

Here is a poem I wrote for school. The poem is dedicated to my mother. The five stanzas each represent the five different senses.

“Ode to My Mother”  

Obsidian eyes that reflect back fortitude 
paired with her compassionate warm, heartfelt smile.

A vast range of tones and accents, 
Each word with its own expression;
Just like waves flowing towards the shore 
Forging its own path.

Even after she departs, 
The lovely scent of coconut and freshly picked roses 
Remain present for a while.

Her warm skin velvety and smooth 
Just like the puffy clouds drifting apart in the evening sky

Exotic flavors and cozy spices 
Exploding like fireworks in one bite; 
All homemade in her unique style.

She is . . .

My mother.

Thank you for reading! 🙂

– Janya signing out

Roxie & El

Hi readers,

I drew my friends’ dogs. Don’t they look cute? I used pencils and blending stumps to create the animal portraits. The fur texture was hard to recreate. Thank you for reading! 🙂

Roxie

El

– Janya signing out

Haikyuu: Atsumu Miya

Hi readers,

I drew Atsumu Miya from Haikyuu for my best friend. I used a pencil and fine liner.

– Janya signing out

Jin, BTS

Hey everyone,

I drew Jin (Kim Seok-jin) as a present for my cousin’s birthday! What’s your song by BTS; share in the comments. 🙂

– Janya signing out

Palm Leaf Fishie 🐠

Hello readers,

Here is a little fish I made while following a palm leaf origami tutorial. It was really fun to make! I really like how it turned out.

– Janya signing out

Conan Gray – Crush Culture 🎈

Hi readers,

I really enjoy listening to Conan Gray’s music so I was inspired created this drawing of them. I reccomend you to check out their songs. https://open.spotify.com/artist/4Uc8Dsxct0oMqx0P6i60ea?si=YpydeQpjQDyNtaTGhn0WAQ Share your favorite song by them in the comments! 🙂

– Janya signing out ❤

Watercolor Wonder

Hey everyone,

The miniature polaroid painting above was created using watercolors and a fine liner. The purpose of this creation was to practice drawing in foreground, middleground, and background. Don’t forget to leave a comment below. Thank you for reading!

– Janya signing out

Family Portraits

Hello readers,

Here are quick sketches of my cousins and my grandmother

– Janya signing out

Lil’ Animal Sketches

Hey readers,

here are a few quick animal sketches of mine. Share your favorite animal in the comments. 🙂

Sparrow

Blue-footed Booby & Giant Tortoise

– Janya signing out

Robert & the Moon

Greetings fellow readers,

Below are illustrations I created for my science storybook project relating to moon myths. The project involved coming up with an mythical/sci-fi explanation for eclipses, craters, and moon phases.

–

– Janya signing out

Jett, Kenma Kozume Recreations

Hi Readers,

here are my recreations of existing art pieces…

Redrawing* Jett, an agent in Valorant

I was requested to recreate an existing drawing of Jett by one of my friends. 🙂

_{(*Credit to Creator of Original Version: Nickmoscovitz}

Redrawing* Kenma Kozume from Haikyuu

Haikyuu is one of my favorite animation series! I recommend you to watch it.

^{(*Credit to Creator of Original Watercolor Version: arinyxxx)}

_{Note: These pieces are mostly an attempt at an exact recreation of the original. However, there are few/minor stylistic or accommodative changes in my versions of the original. The aim is for the recreations to mostly represent the likeness of the original because the goal/intention is to practice various skills (loose lines, shading, and using references) by attempt to exactly recreate art which were originally in different styles I am not familiar with. Original Version Credit: Nickmoscovitz}, _arinyxxx)

– Janya signing out

Hanako and Yashiro Nene

Hi Readers,

Here is a drawing of characters from a animation series called Toilet-bound Hanako-kun which was requested by a friend of mine for their birthday.

– Janya signing out

Collection of Light Sketches

Hi Readers,

Here are a collection of sketches inspired by favorite animation series and some of my original characters…

‘Jules‘ from Carmen Sandiego

‘Catra and She-Ra‘ from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

OC Sketches

Cute doodles of Various Things

– Janya signing out

Dinosaur doodles

Here’s some doodles of dinosaurs, it was quite fun to draw them. Do you recognize any of the species?

– Janya signing out

Guess Who? Portrait Drawing

Hi readers,

I created this portrait drawing (of the mystery person), a couple weeks ago. I was practicing blending techniques and I overall like how it turned out especially the eyes. I want to improve on the proportions of her face. I’m also excited to say I’m working on part two of “No One to Trust Except Sisters” I’m trying to come up with an new, interesting title! Here’s the link to part one: https://janyasmagicalworld.wordpress.com/2020/01/11/no-one-to-trust-except-sisters/ If you have any suggestions for the title or if you figured out who the mystery person in my drawing is share them in the comments. I hope you liked this post. 😀

– Janya signing off

(PS: I will reveal the mystery person, probably next week—check this post again later to find out….)

It’s supposed to be Ariana Grande 😀

Lynn + Flower Girl

Happy New Year everyone,

The first drawing, “Lynn”, was made digitally. I used my traditional drawing of “Elise” for the sketch base. This allowed me to focus more on the highlights and using transparency for blending skin tones. This time I didn’t use black lineart. I like how she’s staring into the distance and not directly facing the viewer. It reminds of vermeer’s “Girl with the Pearl Earring” painting. The second drawing , “Flower girl”, was really fun to create using bright colors. The colors were actually randomly picked, except for the black and brown I used. I’m still getting used to the different texture of my new sketchbook.

Soul Reflection

Hi readers,

this is one of my recent art pieces made with graphite pencils. It was really interesting to make since I drew the art piece while picturing a light source on the side instead of in the front.

– Janya signing off

The Rare Pink Elf

Hi readers,

Here’s one of my recent art pieces of an elf made using color pencils. The name of this character is Elise she’s adventurous, friendly, and kind of a “go with the flow” elf. At first I wasn’t going create this illustration based on the color pink but once I used pink as the base for the face —-wow that rhymes—-I kept on going. I ended up making the eyes a bright orange so they stand out. This is also the first time I drew a 3/4 face. If you want to share ideas or theories about why Elise may be all pink comment below.

Serene Oasis

Hi everyone,

I’m an artist who likes to expand my artistic territory so I attempted digital art for the first time. At first I wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to draw but I settled on a serene scenery. I decided to play with the transparency a little bit which allowed me to layer. This art piece was really interesting to create.

-Janya signing off

Once In a Lifetime

Hi everyone!

Today is an once in a lifetime date! That means that this date “10/15/20” will never come again. So that’s why I created a art piece to commemorate 10/15/20. I used colored pencils– my favorite art supply.  I included a banner near the top of the piece stating “Once in a lifetime.” I drew the antique clock, Earth  and the bird (Scarlet Macaw) to visualize  how time “flies” around the Earth. The movie tape shows 0.0333333333 because 10 divided by 15 divided by 20 is a repeating decimal. I really like how the planets turned out what’s your favorite aspect of this drawing?

– Janya signing off

😃 😄 😁

Flower girl + Poem

Hi readers,

I hope you’re all somewhere cozy cause I got a lot to say. I just finished sketching this girl with graphite pencils. I kind of had her face pictured in my head… what do you think her name should be? The hardest part was actually the hair– something I definitely didn’t expect. While I was working on this I tried to soften up features using a blending stump. SInce i’m a leftie my hand got pretty messy while I was working with the graphite pencils. When I draw I start with a idea as a base and end up someplace new by the end– that’s what I really love about art!😃

Okay here’s the poem part….

___

To dream, is to wish.

Just Ambitions.

But reality is a winding stairway,

to your goals and objectives.

constructed of

failures,

mistakes,

and success.

You need to  learn to make a  fire,

without a spark.

Using your passion to forever pursue.

To risk, is to jump

into the abyss of chance.

Endless possibilities…

one true outcome

To fear is to think of the future,

What can happen?

What might?

Sometimes all you need to hear is…

Everything has its place

and so do you.

-Janya signing off!

Avenue of Art Creations🎨

Summer-y Watercolor art

” With this challenge I tried to approach summer in a different view”

Fruity marker container + Giraffe

Recycled Craft: Bear fishing + Ice cream cone

“This craft was not only fun to make but it also helped recycle some materials”

Turquoise tie-dye with a bird painting

Yay!!

Hi everyone, last month Evin and Kaelyn co-hosted a blog contest called Avenue of Art and one called Summer of stories— you know which one I participated in! 😉 By the way you should totally check out their blogs and maybe participate if they host the contest again.

@A Curly Sue’s Ramblings!! and @Kaelynslife

…

My favorite challenge from the Avenue of Art contest was creating a summer inspired watercolor painting (this challenge was the first). One of the reasons this one was my favorite challenge was because I never officially worked with watercolors before. Did you know for the tye-dye painting I created a new species by mixing the features of two different birds species? Comment below on which creation you like the best.

– Janya signing off!